


Let's Be Lonely Together

by hologramjam



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hologramjam/pseuds/hologramjam
Summary: Jean quits his job. Sasha's business is struggling. With the stress of life overwhelming them, the two find hope in each other's company, and act on their newfound feelings.





	Let's Be Lonely Together

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously I do not own any "Attack on Titan" characters, but they sure as hell own me.

Jean finished typing his last sentence. His story had been finished for about an hour now, but he couldn’t stop himself from revising minute details. He knew how important this story was, and it was a project he had been working on for nearly six months. He had never worked on a story this big. He was writing about the Titan Corporation, a huge pharmaceutical company that was the biggest source of revenue for the city of Maria. It had been a staple of the city for decades, and many of the graduates from the nearby Maria University ended up working there, including some of Jean’s classmates. Which is why Jean was shocked when he received an anonymous tip about how badly the company had been harming the environment, from its chemical runoff to carbon dioxide emission. 

As Jean dug into the numbers, he was appalled by how careless Titan had been in minding its effect on the environment. The company had violated a number of environmental laws, which no one seemed to care about due to how important Titan was to the city. However, Jean had a breakthrough when he was able to get his intel confirmed by someone who actually worked for Titan. 

Bertolt Hoover dormed on the same floor as Jean during their freshman year, and the two had a mutual respect for one another, mainly because there wasn’t anything in particular about Bertolt that irked Jean. Perhaps the only thing that bothered Jean was that Bertolt was too timid, and usually relied on his best friend, Reiner Braun, to make tough decisions for him. This was fitting, as Reiner now worked at Titan in their legal department, and Bertolt worked as a chemist, so now it was literally Reiner’s job to look out for his friend.

But that didn’t stop Bertolt from helping Jean confirm his story. After asking several times, Bertolt sent Jean factual evidence to verify the numbers Jean was working with. Now, all Jean needed to do was print his story and submit it to his editor. This was a bit of a side project that Jean took on upon himself, often working overtime and weekends to gather all the necessary information. Now, he was about to surprise his editor with a bombshell of a story.

Jean dropped the eight page document on his editor’s desk. “There it is,” Jean said, not hiding his feeling of triumphant pride. “Proof that Titan has been violating environmental laws and ruining Maria’s air quality for years.”

Rod Reiss, a short mustached man, had been the editor of the Maria Times for nearly 20 years. Jean deeply admired the man, and as such was incredibly nervous as Reiss looked through his work. He sat in silence while reading.

“Where did you get this confirmation from?” Reiss asked, tapping the page.

“An anonymous source,” Jean said. “They requested to keep their identity a secret.”

“Rightfully so,” Reiss stated. “You’ve clearly done your homework on these numbers, and I don’t doubt the validity of these claims. However, that is precisely the reason why I can’t run this story.”

Jean was caught off guard. “What?”

“Titan is too important to this town for us to run a slanderous piece about it,” Reiss explained. “The company employs thousands of citizens, and brings in so much revenue for Maria. I’m not about to ruin that by dragging the company into the dirt.”

Jean clenched his fists. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jean nearly yelled. 

“Excuse me?” Reiss asked, half confused, half furious.

“I’ve been working on this for months. I had to track down so much of the information in that report after hours, I worked harder for this than anything in my entire life. This is an important story, it’s affecting our entire city, and you just dismiss it just like that?”

“I understand you’re upset, but -”

“NO,” Jean slammed his hands down onto Reiss’ desk. “Every day I see terrible things happen and nothing changes. I thought working here could help my cut out the bullshit and start to make things right, and start holding people accountable and do something that matters.” He broke his gaze with Reiss and looked away, his thoughts drifting to the person he never wanted to think about but could never forget. “I guess I really can’t make a difference…”

“Jean,” Reiss said, standing up. “I appreciate your hard work, and understand your frustration. But this outburst can’t go unpunished. I’m suspending you.”

“Don’t bother,” Jean said, returning his stare back onto the man he felt so much disgust for. “I quit.” Jean grabbed the report, and stormed out of Reiss’ office. He stopped by his desk to grab his laptop, and stuffed some papers from his desk into his bag. He was never one to keep many things on his desk, so there was no evidence he had ever occupied the workspace in a matter of seconds. 

It was this swift cleanout that made Jean realize how little he had accomplished, how little of an impact he made. He looked around the office. Despite the commotion he made in Reiss’ office, it seemed like no one bothered to care to see what had Jean so outraged. He wanted to tell everyone off, even if they didn’t entirely deserve it. He understood that they didn’t want to get involved in Jean’s messy situation. He had always felt like a lone wolf in the workplace (and in life in general), but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset about leaving. 

All of his emotions began swelling up – his frustration, his loneliness, his panic of now being unemployed. For the first time since the funeral four years ago, he had the urge to cry. But he held it in, and walked out of the office without a word.

Out on the street, the sun was starting to set. There was a beautiful orange glow permeating throughout the sky. Jean approached his bike, adjusting his overstuffed bag as he unlocked his bike chain. He mounted the seat, unsure of what to do. He was overflowing, and really did not feel like going back to the solitude of his apartment. His uncertainty of where to go was interrupted when his stomach growled…

 

Sasha Blouse had opened her café, “Wall Rose,” the day after graduating from college. It had been her dream ever since she was a kid living on a small farm. She didn’t grow up with many kids her age, and had an incurable appetite, so she spent most of her time experimenting with different ingredients to make new dishes for her father to try. At first, he had to force the meals down his throat and feign pleasure, but after a while, he didn’t have to pretend anymore – Sasha soon became a great chef, and her father enjoyed every meal she cooked up.

When she got to Maria University, Sasha was undeclared. She knew from her experience working in high school that she didn’t want to go work as a chef in some random restaurant. She wanted her own menu, to serve her own dishes. When she shared this information when hanging out with other kids on her dorm floor, she was surprised when a certain, horse-faced boy sternly told her: “Well then study business. Figure out how to open your own restaurant or café or whatever.” 

She felt like Jean had told her this because he was annoyed of her talking and just wanted to shut her up. She got the impression he had been dragged to that social gathering by his roommate, Connie, and didn’t really want to be there. Still, what he had said made a lot of sense to her. She looked into the school’s business major, and soon joined the program. She hated most of the classes, her egotistical classmates, and all of the numbers, but she knew it would help her accomplish her dream.

And she did. A few months before graduating, she looked into potential locations to open a café, and found an affordable spot not too far from where she lived. She put together a business plan, and was able to secure a loan from the bank to help her complete renovations and design it to her liking. She stocked up on ingredients, and by the end of her senior year the café was up and running, and had been the past two years since she graduated. 

The first few months were great. Sasha had friends coming into the café almost every day, and she had a flow of consistent customers. More importantly, she was able to create her own dishes, from soups to pastries to sandwiches. Whatever she felt like making on that particular day, that’s what was on the menu. It was certainly an unorthodox way of serving food, but some people enjoyed the surprise of not knowing what she was going to serve that day, as well as not having to decide on what to order.

However, recently, Sasha noticed business was slowing. She wasn’t entirely sure why, as she worried it may have been due to her cooking, or perhaps people had grown old of her unique, ever-changing menu. Her friends must’ve been busy with their own lives, as none of them had come in for a long time. She had been able to stay strong despite literally losing money for weeks now, but this day was even too much for her to handle. She hadn’t had a customer all day. She had quiet days were maybe two or three customers showed up, but it had never been this bad, this unbearably lonely. It was just an hour before closing, and if no one showed up soon, it would mark her first day ever without a customer. 

Then, the door opened up.

“So, what’s on the menu?”

Sasha looked up and saw Jean coming in, with a bag overflowing with papers. She couldn’t help but give him one of her signature sun-bright smiles. 

“Well, well, well, look who the cat dragged in, or should I say what the horse dragged in,” Sasha joked. Sasha had once drunkenly told Jean that he looked like a horse, which absolutely infuriated him. Since then, she never missed a chance to bring it up again.

“That’ll never get old,” Jean sarcastically remarked, dropping his bag on a small table. He approached the bar-like counter Sasha was standing behind, and took a seat. “I thought you of all people would know it’s not smart to tease someone who’s hungry.”

“Sorry, sorry, I have a new pasta that I can make,” Sasha said, scurrying behind the counter to gather the ingredients.

“No rush, Potato,” Jean said, prompting Sasha to look back at him with a smile. It was his turn to tease: during their second year at MU, Sasha was over at Jean and Connie’s apartment for an intense, all night study session. The two boys weren’t the best at keeping a stocked kitchen, and when Sasha grew hungry around 2 a.m., all she could find was a sack of potatoes. That didn’t stop her quest to quench her appetite, as she ate three whole raw potatoes. When she ate the first one, Jean was so shocked at the absurdity of the situation that he burst out laughing, and didn’t stop till she devoured the entire spud. She didn’t stop there though, as she continued to eat two more, to Jean’s amazement. After that, he couldn’t help but think of her whenever he saw something potato-related.

“So, it’s been a while,” Sasha said, as began dicing up ingredients. “How’s work been?”

“Oh, you know, it is what it is,” Jean said, pulling out his water canteen and taking a sip.

“Sorry, I have drinks here if you want one, I should’ve offered,” Sasha said, rushing to the refrigerator. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jean said, waving her off. “How’s it been here? Seems a little quiet for a Friday night.”

“I think you just repel all of my customers,” Sasha said with a playful smile. “But it has been mellow here for a while. Not sure why.”

“Has Connie been around lately?” Jean said. “Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“I’m not sure where he is,” Sasha replied, trying to mask her sadness over not seeing any of her friends in such a long time. “I’m not even sure he knows where he is.”

“Very true,” Jean laughed, thinking about his clueless friend. Connie was a pretty talented baseball player in school, but an injury derailed his career. So he got on track to become a physical therapist, taking an extra year than everyone else in order to graduate. It paid off though, as for the last year he was travelling with the Maria baseball team, the Scouts, working with injured players. All the travelling made it hard for him to keep in touch his best friends Jean and Sasha though, let alone hang out with them.  
Jean watched as Sasha began to boil some noodles. He was trying hard to manage his anger from what happened earlier, but Sasha’s calming presence made it easier. 

“I haven’t really seen anyone from school lately,” Sasha admitted to Jean. He could hear a bit of loneliness in her voice, as if she was echoing the sentiments he had been harboring since his outburst in Reiss’ office. 

“Me neither,” Jean said. “I guess part of it is my fault though. Every now and then Eren will throw something stupid into the damn group chat. It’s hard to keep up like that though, I get lost in all the messages.”

“I get what you’re saying,” Sasha said, now stirring a pot of sauce. “Anytime a conversation gets started in that chat I try to think of something funny or witty to respond with, but I take too long and by the time I come up with what to say, there’s like 90 new messages.”

“Is that why you just “ha ha” or “like” all the messages?” Jean asked, somewhat teasing.

“It’s more than what you contribute!” Sasha teased back. She poured the pasta onto a plate, along with the sauce and toppings she had diced up. She placed the plate on the counter in front of Jean, and slid across a napkin.

“So is this some kind of special pasta I’m supposed to eat with my hands or?” Jean asked.

“Oh, sorry!” She shuffled over to the other side of the counter to grab a fork.

“Get two, I know you want to try this,” Jean said.

It was true. The thing Sasha hated about cooking for others was not being able to eat the food herself. She grabbed two forks, and gave one to Jean. They both stabbed at the bow-tie shaped pasta and took their bites. Jean expressed his enjoyment audibly.

“This is really good,” he said, shoveling more into his mouth. “Tastes like something my mom would make.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Sasha said, happy to receive a compliment on her cooking. The two continued to share their meal, content with the peaceful silence. 

 

Jean and Sasha exited the café, with the sky now a violet color. The eatery was just one of many small buildings cramped one after the other on the quiet street, which was lit by the occasional street lamp. The ocean was just down the hill a mile away, and would glow orange when the sun set, which Sasha enjoyed seeing every day. As she locked the door to the café, Jean began to unlock his bike, which was chained to a nearby street sign. 

“Are you actually going to ride home? Aren’t you afraid you’re going to break your bike after such a hearty meal?” Sasha joked.

“Hey, I’m pretty sure your ‘half’ of the meal was bigger than mine,” Jean smirked. 

“Fair,” Sasha said, noticing Jean struggling with his overstuffed pack. “You sure do have a lot of stuff in your bag.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jean said, looking at his bag. He never liked opening up to people, even to Sasha and Connie, who he considered to be his closest friends. But things had been building up inside him, and whether intentional or not, Jean felt like he needed to reach out. “I quit my job today. This is all the useless crap I took from my desk.”

Sasha wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t like Jean to share this kind of information. “I’m so sorry Jean,” Sasha said. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you, you know that right?”

The sandy-haired boy nodded, avoiding eye contact. “Yeah, thanks.”

Sasha thought for a moment. “Hey, why don’t we go back to my place? It’s only a couple blocks away. We can talk, if you want. Or we can eat…”

Jean laughed and shook his head. “Your appetite is truly impressive.”

Sasha smiled brightly. “Come on, let’s go.” Despite his usually resistant spirit, Jean didn’t fight it. They began walking down the street, two hurting souls simply enjoying each other’s company.

 

Sasha locked the door once they were in her apartment. It had been a while since Jean had been there, but he always appreciated how quaint and calm it was. He realized that this was the first time he had been there alone, just him and Sasha.

“You can put your bag down anywhere,” Sasha said, as she began taking her shoes off while standing up. Jean put his bag down against the wall, and laughed watching his friend jump around on one leg.

“You make things that are usually very boring to watch highly entertaining, you know that?” he teased her. She laughed, and playfully tossed her shoe in his direction. She walked into the kitchen, her favorite room in the house, obviously. She headed toward her coffee machine.

“Do you want some?” she asked. 

“Sure,” Jean said, following her into the kitchen. He recalled Sasha moving out on her own during their senior year. She always kept her door open to their friend group, and Jean spent a lot of time there studying. Well, at least trying to study. He’d usually end up joking around with Sasha and Connie. Spending time in her apartment really helped him get out of the dark place he was in after his best friend, Marco, died. Sasha helped him lower his guard a bit, something he was never comfortable doing except in her company.

“So,” Sasha said, powering on the machine. “Why’d you quit your job?

Jean sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “I was working on a big story for a few months. I was looking into Titan possibly violating environmental laws. Turns out they have been, a lot, for a long time. I brought my finished story in and my editor shot it down. Said he didn’t want to defame Titan, that it’s too important to the city to risk going through such a legal scandal. I couldn’t believe it. So I quit.”

“That’s so stupid,” Sasha said. “It sounds like a story that people need to know.”

“It’s just terrible how people can get away with things like this,” Jean said. “It just feels like people care less and less about the bad things that are happening. And I just feel like it’s pointless to try and fight against it.”

He sat in silence, and Sasha looked at him, concerned about her friend’s defeatist attitude. She joined him at the table. “Jean, ever since I first met you I’ve admired how strong you are. You’re not afraid to tell people exactly how you feel. I mean, if it wasn’t for your brutal honesty I would’ve never studied business and opened up my own café!”

Jean looked up at her, surprised at what she said. “Really?”

“Yeah. I owe a lot to you.”

“That’s not true. You’re the one who made the café what it is. Your uniqueness is why the café is so successful.”

Sasha looked down for a moment. Now it was her turn to get something off her chest. “Well, it hasn’t been so successful lately.”

“What do you mean?”

“The last month or so… I haven’t been getting many customers. In fact, I’ve actually lost a bit of money, which is fun. If I don’t start recouping my losses soon, I may have to close the café.”

Jean was saddened by what he was hearing. “Fuck, I’m sorry Sasha.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sasha said, holding back tears. “In fact, you were my only customer today. So if anything, you’re helping.”

Jean was unsure of what to say. He wanted to comfort his friend, but all he could feel was sadness within himself. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to cheer her up. The coffee machine beeped, and Sasha got up from the table, happy to distract herself with the menial task of pouring her and Jean’s cups. Jean sat with his thoughts, when she returned to her seat, offering a cup to Jean.

“Hey, Sasha,” Jean finally said. “Are you ever lonely?”

Sasha looked up, her fierce brown eyes meeting his. “Kind of,” she answered. “It’s not like when we were in school, when we saw all of our friends every day. I guess I’ve been feeling pretty distant from everyone these days. Sometimes I worry that people are forgetting about me.” 

“That’s how I feel,” Jean said. “Today kind of made me realize how detached I’ve become. Just like when…”

Sasha could feel Jean’s pain. He rarely talked about Marco, and she didn’t want to force him now.

“Just like when Marco died,” he finally said. “When he died, I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do. He was the only person who had ever actually cared about me. He put up with all of my stupid anger, he always knew how to cheer me up. I relied on him too much. When he was gone, it was like a piece of me disappeared and could never come back. The part of me that could feel joy, that made me feel alive. Sometimes I’m so miserable, I wish it was me who died instead of him. He’d be making more out of life than I ever could.”

At this point, Jean was teary eyed. Sasha was surprised how quiet his voice was, but this only made her feel his pain even more. She stared at his hand from across the table, and she gently held it, rubbing it softly.

“Jean, I’ve never told you this, but you have made me so happy. We’ve had so many good times together. I’m lucky to have you in my life. Especially now… I need you more than ever.”

Jean looked at her, eyes still watering. The two sat there, connecting on a level they never had. Perhaps these new feelings had always lied within them, dormant until this very moment. Jean knew everything she said was true. And the memories he had with her were ones he cherished every day, especially in moments of despair. In this moment, his feelings for her were overwhelming. Her hand in his was like electricity. For the first time since Marco passed away, he felt something. Love.

Which is why he had the impulse to leave.

“I’m sorry Sash, I have to go,” Jean abruptly said, letting go of her hand and getting up. Confused, Sasha followed him out of the kitchen.

“Jean, wait, why are you leaving?”

“I just have to go.”

“Why? So you can be alone?

“Maybe that’s how I’m supposed to be.”

“I don’t think that’s what you need right now.”

“I don’t know what I need right now.”

“Then stay here and let me help you figure it out. Let’s be lonely together. Why are you leaving?”

“Because I have feelings for you!”

After that admittance, the room fell silent. Sasha was shocked by what Jean had said, and Jean was trying to figure out what to say after dropping that bombshell. “I- I really, really like you Sasha,” Jean said, trying to string his words together. “I think I have for a long time, but only just realized it now. You’re funny, caring, genuine, hardworking. But I know what happens when I care about people like this. I get my heart broken. And I don’t know if I want to experience that again.”

Sasha, still uncertain of how to react, nervously approached Jean. “Why did you come to my café today, Jean?”

“Because… I was hungry,” Jean said, trying to use a stupid joke to ease the tension.

“Seriously, why?”

“Because… I needed you. You were the only person I could turn to.”

Sasha continued to approach him. He anxiously backed up until his back was against the wall, as she stood mere centimeters away from him. Jean had to actually focus to maintain that distance between them. It was as if there was a magnetic pull between their two bodies. 

“I needed you too…”

With that, Sasha courageously stepped up and pressed her lips on Jean’s. Their height difference made this awkward and difficult, but Sasha wasn’t going for style points. She was completely letting go. Jean was in complete shock when their lips met, and had no idea what he was doing for the first few seconds. His mind was going a mile a minute all day until right now, as his brain wasn’t registering anything other than the fact he fucking loved the touch of Sasha’s lips. In the heat of the moment, he finally let go. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began moving her body against his, unable to control her excitement.

“Jesus, Potato,” Jean managed to say, laughing a bit. Things were escalating fast, not that Jean minded. He moved his hands upward to gently hold her head, and his hand awkwardly hit her ponytail. Sasha reached up and let her dark brown hair down, and Jean disengaged for a moment to take in how beautiful she looked. He finally stopped overthinking. All he felt was happiness being with Sasha. 

Sasha felt Jean’s joy. She was ecstatic to finally feel relieved of all the negativity that had burdened her the past few weeks. More than anything, she embraced this new feeling of being wanted by another person. Nothing else mattered to the two of them. Jean didn’t know how to verbalize his feelings, but from the way he looked at Sasha, she knew exactly how he felt, and she felt the same way. They continued their kissing contest, as Sasha pulled Jean across her apartment and into her bedroom…

 

Jean woke up the next morning in Sasha’s bed, with the sleepy brunette resting next to him. It was a bit cramped, but he didn’t mind. Things had gotten pretty heated the previous night, as evident from their pants and shirts laying on Sasha’s bedroom floor. However, things didn’t progress past intensely making out, as both weren’t very experienced and didn’t know what they were doing. Additionally, they were both exhausted, and got to a point where they were just content laying quietly in each other’s arms. 

Jean slowly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Sasha. He made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He noticed the two cups of coffee Sasha had made for them last night, now cold after being neglected. His eyes drifted to his bag, still resting against the wall. Reality started to sink back in. He didn’t have a job, and Sasha’s business was dying. The sadness from the previous day began to creep back.

“Good morning,” a tired voice said from behind him.

Jean’s negative feelings vanished. He turned around to see Sasha smiling brightly. He didn’t feel hopeless anymore. He had Sasha, and she had him. They would get through this together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. I really enjoy these characters and wish their dynamic was explored more in the show. I'm thinking of continuing the story and introducing other characters like Eren, Levi, etc. If you've read this far I genuinely appreciate your time and hope you got some kind of enjoyment from reading!


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